We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
