doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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