My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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