went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
