whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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