a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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