New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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