Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
