found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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