then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
