so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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