I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize