Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
