2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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