Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
