Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
