we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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