did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
