I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
