Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
did i just pee glitter
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
