i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
