Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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