Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
