Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize