There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
