the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I look excited, but its just a facade.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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