Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
