Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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