i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
