You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
