hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
My penis needs a shock collar
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
