i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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