Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
