She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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