I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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