What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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