Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
