i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
