NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
