please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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