If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
