New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I AM VODKA MAN
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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