you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize