Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
