my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
