I just pynch a tree in the face
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
