the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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