why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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