I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
