Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize