You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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