You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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