Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
