between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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