oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
