You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
