your thong is hanging out like whoa
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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