I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
