Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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