im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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