Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
