He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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