Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
