Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
