We got so high we made milksteak
This house was built for laser tag.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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